My Mom on Hoops

My mom loves NBA basketball. I can't make this stuff up.

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I don’t like Lebron James—he acts like a butthead. AND… I really don’t like Juwan Howard—he’s a defector.

I do, however, like JJ Ba-rare-uh. His first name is Juan Jose you know.

My mom’s Finals commentary.

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Is there a Patty Mills Fan Club? Because I want to join.

An email from my mom today.

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On Sean Marks

  • Mom: Whenever Nate sends out Sean Marks, I shudder. What is he thinking?
  • Me: Well, there's not really anyone else, Mom.
  • Mom: I guess, but, my God, he isn't very good.

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Juwan doesn’t look so handsome in a Miami Heat jersey.

(Um, Mom, Juwan Howard doesn’t look handsome, no matter what jersey he’s wearing.)

My mother has officially broken up with Juwan Howard. She did not approve of his trash talking his former teammates. I believe she also called him a “traitor,” “defector” and a “loser.” She’s so angry at him that I actually kind of feel badly for ol’ Juwan.

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My mom and I started the tradition awhile back after Blazers games that we listen to this song on the way back to my house from the Rose Garden. We car dance. We think we’re hilarious. Yes, this is our homage to Patty Mills—she’s a convert too. 

(Of course, this is the pop-up video version of this video!)

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Christmas “3 Goggles!”

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The Magic coach, Stan Whatshisname, looks like he has indigestion constantly.

I like him, though.

My mom on Stan Van Gundy. (Anyone else find it odd she discusses people’s stomach issues so frequently?)

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My mom at the Blazers-Magic game getting ready to cheer on her guy Dwight Howard.

My mom at the Blazers-Magic game getting ready to cheer on her guy Dwight Howard.

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Fans want to trade Brandon [Roy] because he’s injured? What!? Do they want to cut Joel [Pryzbilla] because he has diarrhea?

My mom’s reaction when I told her that some cranky fans’ feelings toward Brandon Roy because he’s been injured. (You don’t turn on a guy like B-Roy. You just don’t.)

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My mom is most likely adopting this basset hound in need of a good home. While he already has a legal name, she’s thinking of making his nickname “Nico.” This, of course, is in honor of Trail Blazers forward Nicolas “Nico” Batum, who, like basset hounds, is French. 

My mom is most likely adopting this basset hound in need of a good home. While he already has a legal name, she’s thinking of making his nickname “Nico.” This, of course, is in honor of Trail Blazers forward Nicolas “Nico” Batum, who, like basset hounds, is French.